im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
