Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
