Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
