Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
