I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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