I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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