I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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