So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
