Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize