When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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