You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize