I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize