So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
