I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You ate ashes out of my bong
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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