After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
