So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
