You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
