you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
