That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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