We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
