is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize