oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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