she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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