you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
