Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
