I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
