Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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