he puts the penis in happiness.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
