Is it normal to miss your booty call?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
