Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
