she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I need a hoe opinion
go on
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
