i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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