guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
