i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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