what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
