I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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