Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
