Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
it's great music for shaving your balls
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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