You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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