you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
