I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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