I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just want to make out with him forever
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
