I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
