Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
