At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize