that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
