I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Did we literally take a cab across the street
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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