You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
another moral hangover. fuck.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
