She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
