After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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