Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i think i have two assholes
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
