He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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