So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
