Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
