I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
