guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I could make wine with my vomit
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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