Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize