i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
