your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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