she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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