You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize