that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
